THE MEDIA'S EFFECT ON CHILDREN Today was an eye-opener for me on the effects that violence in movies is having on today's youth. It started innocently enough, while I was sitting in the hall playing with my little br…
Dude, is it a blessing or a curse that the night before I plan on going to the optometrist, I accidently set my computer on top of my glasses and break them? I am literally out of contacts, so I got the whole cool look…
The other day, I decided I might one day want a girlfriend. But, it didn't take long for me to figure out that every quasi-pseudo-semi-almost-maybe dateable girl has a boyfriend who is about 20 levels beneath TZ.…
I've been thinking about rabies alot lately. I think I'd like to have it after all. I hate buying toilet paper. I hate cashiers. They are obsolete. I hate admitting my humanity. I bumped up my Perfect Abs dvd to "…
All my life, people told me that I was a maniac. Doctors said I should be put in an asylum. Teachers wanted me locked up. I was in an out of orphanages. In and out of foster homes. In and out of jail. People said…
THE HERMIT LIFE So, I've decided to start my journey as a hermit in 2010. There are many reasons why, but the main reason is this: It's a perfect ending to my story. I want for my good friends to one day be telling so…
Man, isn't it so annoying when you have pants with a draw string, but the draw string is drawn too much or something, and both ends get stuck in the pants. And then you have to use the Force or black magic to try to con…
It's pretty damn amusing finding some employees from work on MySpace. Having them reduced from authority figures to just another internet goon looking to get laid by a random chick who claims to be 20 but you find out…
Ugh, I was plagiarized at work today. Like 2 months ago, they unfolded this new section on the intranet that chronicled employees and gave a tidbit of their personal life. I emailed a comment about how I thought this…
Many people get distracted by church and resurrections and forget the true meaning of Easter... the Easter Bunny. We must all remember the sacrifices he's made and the lengths he goes to to deliver those chocolate eggs…
I'm often very happy with my solitary lifestyle, but for some reason today, while climbing a tree, I felt like I wanted somebody. A significant other, if you will. Someone to share this with. So I decided to put in wo…
Last night ruled. It's kinda cool feeling like Leonard in Memento. Sometimes. My ratings are as follows. Sixth Street is Greater than Northgate which Equals Crockett Street. I might be overrating Crockett Street,…
The sun shines a little differently in Austin.
$$ GET RICH QUICK $$ Okay, I have a new get rich quick scheme. I will require the services of a genius, preferably someone with a Ph.D. in physics or something of the sort. My theory is as follows: While traveling b…
Warning: The following tale is not meant for children. Reader discretion is advised. The other day I got in my car and there was a big spiderweb on my steering wheel. In it was a spider. My initial emotion was fear!…
On a pseudo unrelated note, barely a day goes by where I don't comfort myself by comparing myself to George Costanza. When I think about how my life is in constant flux or is lame or stuff won't work out, I think about…
It's important to set goals. Short term goal: stay alive until X-men 3 comes out. Longer term goal: stay alive until LOST series finale. Then throw in women and families and divorces somewhere in there. That woul…
The Xanga Manifesto I've never really defined my purpose for upholding a xanga, or what I expect from you, the reader, but I think I'll do it now. This Xanga has evolved into less of a social type connectio…
TZ's Musical Musings One of my favorite bands that most people haven't heard of is Ween. I found this awesome band by fate. It was 10th grade. I had Mrs. Bordelon's biology class with such all-stars as Large Phil and…
It's almost that time of the week again. That's right. The pinnacle of sitcoms - ABC's Freddie. Now if I could somehow combine a vasectomy, a root canal, and an episode of Freddie... I might have something. It's ki…
When I was a kid, as early as I can remember actually, I'd sometimes hear these strange murmurs late at night. They were an indistinguisible jibberish that seemed to be alot of deep-voiced men whispering to themselves.…
I couldn't help but notice this comparison... The picture Steve took of me the other night and Little Mac from Punch-Out... FORTUNE OF THE DAY: People find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner.
This weekend was phenomenal. One of my best ever no doubt. Here's a little something for yall... "Being that you're from Corpus Crispy..." - Taylor to Derek "Why don't you atleast be in the same room with the girls y…
Apparently life does suck! Please pray for me! Really guys, I need it. I got the results from the doctor, and I have AIDS. Let's just say, unprotected sex ISN't cool For real, wear atleast 2 condoms. Oh, I wish I had wi…
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