THINGS I WOULD RATHER DO THAN WATCH FREDDIE PRINZE JR'S SHOW "FREDDIE" -Stick my arm in a bear trap -Stick my head in a bear trap -Kill myself -Kill everyone I know -Watch all my family and friends be tortured -Torture…
Is it just me, or does everyone look spectacular? To clear up the questions on, "Oh have you lost weight? How did you lose weight? Why did you lose weight?"... It came while watching X-Men 2 back in January. It was the…
Hmm, where'd my will to live go? I coulda sworn I had it a second ago. Am I the only one who makes decisions by flipping a coin? It's a pretty good system as long as you swear to do whatever the coin says. Otherwise…
My protoge' I taught him to climb trees too
UPDATE THE END OF AN ERA Let the record show that today is the day I threw my Duke hat out of the car window. It was a pretty good 5 year era. But I think a new era is long overdue. ________________________________…
So LOST starts out with about 45 minutes of subtitles. If I wanted to read, I'd buy a book, attach a "Kick Me" sign to my back, and break my glasses in half followed by duct taping them back together. Reading is obsol…
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My day was ruined quickly by a company called AOL Time-Warner and their shitty brand of instant messaging product. Firstly, my AIM was showing that I had been idle for a million years, when a las, I haven't even been al…
This weekend was pretty pimpalicious. There is a small segment of the population who knows of me but doesn't know me. I met one such entity this weekend. Upon inquiring how they knew of me, I was informed that I am…
Life is but a dream... I used to have a cool circular magnet I found inside my old phone. I liked to keep it in my mouth and let it stick to the metal bar behind my bottom front teeth. But the other day I ac…
I filed the insurance claim on my phone. I've always admitted that I can be pressured into buying things. For instance, I'm a member of Clean Water Texas. I acquired a Goldfish themed umbrella and 2 puzzle books for m…
Here's a fun new famous game. It's called Blind Man's Bluff aka TZ's Bogus Journey. The rules are as follows: Set-up: This is crucial. First you must pre-drink alot of hawaiin punch lemonade and seagram's gin. Then y…
Good news! I've now become an official corporate sponsor for Joey's Crawfish Carnival. I went ahead and updated the flyer with my sponsorship and the event time. Only 48 or so more hours. Now that I'm an official…
On behalf of Joseph D. Cessac, I invite you to Joey's Crawfish Carnival! This will be the best Crawfish action in town, happening this Friday Evening! Come one, come all! To Joey's Crawfish Ball! Ring in the Sprin…
Allright, I got some pressing news now. My phone finally died today. It's been on it's last leg for a while (anyone who's seen it can vouch for that.) I'll post pictures of its new final state tomorrow (I did a num…
I was tired of black. This gay pastel blue will do for now. I'm starting my Post-Apocalyptic and as yet untitled novel today. If I Were King... I would raise the highway speed limit everywhere to 87 mph. Because, as…
One of the best afternoons I've ever had. Rode bikes on the most scenic trails I've yet to experience, fell off bike ensuring that my right knee is perpetually scraped, found a super cool Mr. Eko-esque stick, used said…
If you haven't seen Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.... you haven't lived. Hey cool I went to the Doctor today. Dr. Josee Laliberte is everything I want in a woman, and MORE. She cured my pink eye a year ago and…
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