Being in my tax bracket is a blessing and a curse. But it usually feels like a curse.
First I'm kicked in the groin biweekly by the government, with their massive take on my hard earned cash. Then I find out that those greedy bastards didn't deduct enough, so I have to pay them once again. I understand why so many people go mental and destroy things now.
The government hasn't done anything for me this year. I guess I use the roads they build (although I use the tollroad a helluva lot), but that's not worth much. Just make every road a toll road and cut that from my taxes.
How much value can you put on not having anarchy? The police don't really help me. If I reinvested half of my taxes into an arsenal of firearms, I think I'd be set up pretty good against criminals.
I don't use any of the crap government programs that help the poor and lazy. If they came up with a program to send all the worthless somewhere like the Arctic Circle, then by all means, have some more of my money. Get rid of them.
The fact that I'm paying for schools annoys me. There are too many teachers. Why do they have something like 20 kids per class? When I went to college, we had 200+ kids per class a lot of the time, and everyone learned just fine. Do the same thing throughout school. One teacher up front with a microphone, then the lame kids in the crowd. Then make older kids serve as TA's. Save loads there.
I wouldn't mind if they came to me and said
"Okay, you have to pay this much in taxes, but you can decide where some goes." I'd say, okay fair enough.
Then I'd give my tax money to causes like:
NASA. We need more cool space exploration. We had men on the moon when all the computers they used combined weren't as powerful as my cell phone. FACT. We should be able to do loads more in space travel now.
Animals. Animals are great. I want more zoos. You don't see animals helping the worthless animals when they don't want to work. Chimps don't bring bananas back to the lazy gorillas sleeping in the den. They say F them.
Defense. Robot soldiers. Paying for a standing military is ridiculous. Instead of foot soldiers, pay more money to attract smart people to come work for the army and have good ideas. That giant crime fighting robot that was RoboCop's enemy came out over 25 years ago, and I haven't seen a single one put to good use yet.
Department of Procreation Permits. You should have to jump through hoops to have a kid. Honestly. I can't open up a bounty hunter / vigilante business without getting loads of permissions, but some random bag can spit out a kid whenever she wants.
Other good ideas:
Get rid of the Post Office. Commercialize sending stuff. Just let UPS or FedEx handle all the little shit parcels too. Then people wouldn't be able to afford to send me junk mail.
Reevaluate the Police Force. I don't want my money going to pay some fat ass cop money to stand around. Physical fitness requirements. I'd rather have one cop that can bench 300 and run a 4.7 40 than five cops that can't bend over and touch their knee caps. Fix this.
Healthcare. Do you have any idea the effect that healthcare is going to have on our evolution as a species? We're going to hit a downward slope. Only in the last century or so have we decided it was a good idea to help people that can't afford to help themselves. You didn't see any of the broke alcoholics with no money in the 1800s getting a free liver transplant. I'm honestly really interested to see how "Survival of Everyone" versus the natural "Survival of the Fittest" is going to work out in the long run. I mean the thousands of years long run. Get rid of healthcare for old people. We're letting people hang around too long.
Stop Taxing My F'ng Capital Gains So Much. I shouldn't be punished for making money in the stockmarket. I should be congratulated for investing my money and stimulating the economy.
I will make sure not to fill out a Census this year just to get even.
Comments (1)
You are amazing. When will your brain cease to impress me?
And I'm pretty sure you get introuble for not filling out the census. We had a local one that I threw away once and "they" came and knocked on my door a couple weeks later. Scary.