New Theory, Just Developed: For every guy you see in a parking lot (or anywhere for that matter) wearing a wife-beater, your chances of getting stabbed to death triple. So, since I just saw 2 in the Kroger parking lot simultaneously, I was very scared for my life. Needless to say, I Charged out of there as quickly as possible.
The Spontaneous Murderer UniformAnd since
my tweets are almost just like the online-published version of what were formerly just my blog ideas, I really appreciate the fat, toothless, parking-lot security goon from earlier who stopped by my car as I was getting out. I was expecting him to say something like "You can't park there" (even though this is a parking lot in the middle of a shopping center), but instead he was like "Is that a Charger?" and I'm like "Yeah (hence the Charger emblems on it)". And he's like "Is it a
Hemi?" and I'm like "Yeah (hence the "Hemi" moniker adorned on the side)". Then he proceeded to ask me how much my car cost. Awkward. I was going to ask him how much his golf cart cost, but I doubt he paid for it. And then I was going to ask him how much his dental work cost, but I doubt he had any. Ever. In his whole life. Oh well, sort of flattering to know that middle-aged guys pulling minimum wage think my car "must be fast!"
A SimulationI know what you're thinking:
"Endless Mike! What are you doing up at 10:30 PM on a Tuesday night! You must be entering your teenage years where your parents don't dictate your bedtime anymore and you've decided to rebel!" False. I'm in my mid-twenties. Just consider me a Sarah Palin-esque maverick.
Or, in reality, I went to go see
The Hangover tonight. Gotta say, when I first saw the trailer for this, I thought "Come on, Andy from The Office. Why throw away the good will and respect you've earned for a quick paycheck on some crappy movie." And as usual (but not too usual) in life, I was wrong.
Awesome movie. Not a wasted moment. Honestly. Not ONE WASTED MOMENT. Just comedy after comedy after comedy. Scrap the love story. Scrap any heart-warming moments. Pour on the humor. And it works. Oh, does it ever work.
And to answer any unresolved questions, I was in the Kroger parking lot so late after seeing the movie because I had to buy some lactose-free, fat-free milk and a box of Fiber One. In my recent blender-lust and clearance-priced Odwalla bar frenzy, I've neglected to quell my cereal urges/necessities. Better late than never.
Yes, Please.
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