Why was there a 6'8" transvestite at Kroger? These are the kind of questions I don't want to have to answer.
I would have loved to get a picture of it, but I feared too much for my life and safety. I think men of that size wearing a full length purple dress and gold dangly earrings know they are spectacles, and know that there are twenty-somethings out there who would love nothing more than to adorn their blogs with pictures of weird freaks at grocery stores.
And, to be honest, I haven't been as flustered in years as I was when I turned into an aisle and saw this mountain of a man/woman standing there. My heart is still beating fast.
Am I dreaming? Did I accidently walk into an alternate universe where women are nearly 7 foot tall and have chiseled looking man faces? I think I already have post-traumatic stress disorder.
I'm trading in my annual tradition of sitting and watching hours upon hours of the NFL draft until I get a migraine for a Spanish vacation whose proportions of fun will be equivalent to a tornado inside of a volcano. Sounds like a big move up to me.
With two weekends being dedicated to that trip, and then a bachelor-party excursion the weekend after that, and then ushering a wedding after that, and then maybe/hopefully/crossing-my-fingers some sort of fun Memorial Day Weekend (4-day weekend for me) adventure the weekend after that, the fun is piling up for a simple small-town kinda guy like me.
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