Sunday, 12 April 2009

• Sunday Musings

  Is the amount you sweat directly proportional to how effective an exercise is? Because I sweat more on the stair climber than anything else, but I never feel too taxed on it.  One of the great questions of our time.
  
  People shouldn't get life insurance for themselves as a gift for their kids.  That's pretty morbid.  Life insurance should be more of a surprise gift.  Like, your parents die and then some guy is like, "Hey, they got this good life insurance" and you're all like, "Well that's a great surprise gift!"
  
  I forgot to chronicle how my first ant colony was a bunch of small, weakling slackers.  They dug one tunnel and then most of them committed suicide.  It was a tragedy but not really.  Survival of the fittest.  Aka the one big ant that somehow lived by himself for a few weeks.
  
  I kept saying to myself that I would capture some new ones up in the woods by my parents house, but I didn't go up there until this past weekend.  But then I wasted no time on the hunt.
  
  At first it was that whole "a watched pot never boils" thing because me and my brother scoured through all the woods and couldn't find a good antpile.  Really disappointing.  We did find a bucket and some old rusted beer cans though. But in the end, it all worked out as I found a good hill of what I think are carpenter ants.  Or some sort of wood loving ants. 
  
  And they are a bunch of mean, asskicking, tunnel digging bastards. 
  
  After 5 hours or so they'd already outperformed my last brood handidly. 
  
  
  
  Not too shabby.  They are so much fun to watch and root for.  Then within 24 hours they'd expanded to this.
  
  
  
  A mansion fit for a king!  They are geniuses.  They build and connect all their tunnels.  And work nonstop.  I love them so much, even though they would bite my eyes out if I let them.
  
  My little brother loved the ant farm too.  I think I will get him one of his own.  Even though ant farms are really for adults. 
  
  Okay, power through this week of work and then it's only a short struggle before my huge awesome Spanish vacation. 
  
  Here's a new segment.  It's called THE LAME AAASSSS BUMPER STICKER OF THE DAY.
  
  
  
  The worst part about bumper stickers is the fact that the person had to see the bumper sticker, purchase it, go out to their car, look at it in their hand for a second and think "Yes.  I want this on my car.  It is important that everyone sees this when they drive close to me."  Then they stick it on.  And now I know my silence will not protect me.  And I'm better for that.
  
  It was Easter today.  Me and my brother did the traditional thing.  Namely laying around and watching that Easter classic: Van Helsing.  
  
  
  
  Van Helsing uses a cross as a weapon against vampires at one point.  And holy water is featured. 
  
  After that the spirit of the season was so infused into me that I actually PURCHASED a song on iTunes.  Because I was having trouble finding "Coast of Carolina" by Telekinesis available via bootleg ERRRR pirating ERRRR magical freeness.

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