Just as I suspected, my whole trip to Poland now seems like it was all a dream. Memory is definitely a spectator sport. In fact, most of my life feels like I was just watching. La dee da.
In what has become increasingly rare, I had trouble going to sleep last night. I'll peg it on the recent time-zone hopscotch.
What is with the recent phenomenon of loudness outside of my apartment? Specifically vacuuming and a baby crying. Two of my least favorite sounds of all time. Let's put it in a top 5.
#1: Vacuum Cleaner 
A vacuum is the worst sound in the world. Even dogs hate it and want to kill the vacuum. It is infuriating, which is one reason I hate vacuuming. Copyright: A vacuum that plays cool songs instead of sounding like a vacuum. You'd have to use music that is sort of distorted sounding and vacuumy to begin with, like
Titus Andronicus.
#2: Telephone 
The sound of a telephone is so bad because it makes me real anxious. Especially at work, I'm assuming it's someone calling to tell me it's game over and I'm getting the axe. And at home I assume it's someone telling me I forgot to pay something and now owe one million in late fees. That, or it's just someone I don't want to talk to because mouths are obsolete and words are sent through your fingers. Reason my phone is almost perpetually on silent.
#3: Door Slamming 
Door slamming is the first sign that domestic abuse is fixing to take place. Or child abuse. Or animal abuse. Or any sort of abuse. That, or it's the sign that some asshole just closed a door too fast because he's ignorant and a bastard.
#4: Baby Crying 
Baby's have the magical gift of being able to transform from nature's greatest and cutest miracle to nature's biggest mistake in about .1 seconds. They go from making me want to have one to making me want to give myself a vasectomy. All with the power of crying.
#5: Tie. Pencil Sharpener / Lawn Mower 
Two of man's inventions that included slicing and dicing and chopping and cutting mechanically. But man forgot to make them not sound super annoying.
I forgot to announce that I have now gone from a 3-minute-rest, 1-minute-work interval on the treadmill to a 4-minute-rest, 2-minute-work interval. This is critical.
Comments (2)
This ruled!
lol.
No seriously, why aren't you ever featured. Life is unfair.
@heyjulsiscoo -
How much money do you get? Oh, zero? That sounds like a ripoff.