Tuesday, 03 February 2009

• I've Got Hurt Feelings

  I think that line about "it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all" is total bullshit.  Atleast having love so close to your grasp and then getting your heart stomped isn't as good as not having it near ever.
  
  Short Version:  Me and my friends were prematurely celebrating winning 800 dollars* each on a Super Bowl pool before our souls were incinerated by the Steelers winning drive.
  
  Longer Version:  We were doing this square game for the Superbowl.  I would explain it but I don't want to and that's what the internet is for.  We had the numbers 3 and 0 as ours.  We had to hit miracle after miracle and the score was 23-20 with something like 2 minutes left.  If the Cardinals hold, the $3200 jackpot is ours.  The money was right there!
  
  After Fitzgerald's 70+ yard touchdown, we were dancing and singing and probably fondling eachother (all male) in delight.  But no.  We were all then blindsinded in a manner that has forced me to not be able to watch Superbowl Highlights or listen to my usual sports radio shows. 
  
  At least we weren't directly in charge of our fates.  I've always had this horrible nightmare of being picked to shoot like a half-court shot or kick a field goal for one million dollars and then blowing it.  I would end myself on the spot.  I could never forgive myself.  Atleast this way, I didn't make any wrong choices, it was just random luck.  And unluck.  So no regret, just pain.  My Prediction: pain.
  
  Other than that, all I look forward to is being asleep.  I don't think that's a good sign.  Gambling is a cruel mistress.  And a cruel bedfellow. 
  
  I have no idea how my vocabulary works.  It's like my 760 SAT verbal wasn't a sham after all.  I somehow pulled the word "parry" today.  Why, I never think about fencing, ever. 
  
  I haven't started my new book because I don't feel like going into binge mode and staying up all night to finish it right now.  It's like, I know all of my bad habits, but it's hard for me to fight them.  I'm not just my own worst enemy, but my own arch-nemesis.  And I couldn't have picked a better opponent.
  
  * To legal entities or concerned parties: any mention of gambling or gambling type activities/transactions mentioned herein are entirely fictional and fabricated for entertainment, or involve only the transfer of "points" which are not transferable to a monetary currency that would cause or seem to cause any violations of laws: state, federal, worldly, or other-worldly.  As far as you know.

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