I was thinking, and all I ever do on here anymore is complain or write about my life. How is that helping the world and the people in it? It's not. I've been being selfish. I have 23 years and 51 weeks of life experience to share. And I'm going to start now.
I think one of the worst parts of society is dating. It's a difficult system to understand. There are so many rules and idiosyncracies that no one teaches you about, whether you are a man or a woman. But, I've been on over a dozen dates maybe, so I think I've learned a thing or two over the years.
First Dates: I'm going to save everyone alot of time and hassle. The perfect place for a first date is definitely: an Ice Cream store. This is pretty much my go-to place. What more does a girl want after a hard day of middle school than Ice Cream? Pretty much nothing.
Paying: I think it's obvious that a guy should always pay on the first date. And always drive too. It might be tough for some guys to pull this off in these economic times. But that's why you have to get smart. Use coupons at restaurants. Tell her that you'd like to walk to the date to be more romantic (and save gas money). Oh, and try to call the motel ahead of time to reserve their cheapest room. Preferably non-smoking, that way you have an excuse as to why you aren't letting her bum cigarettes.
Manners: Women really appreciate manners. They like when a man is chivalrous. Always open the door for her. Pull out chairs for her. If she is fixing to walk over a mud puddle, put your jacket over the puddle for her to walk on. This is the ULTIMATE move. If she doesn't respond to that, well, I give you my permission to not tip her at the end of the night.
What to Wear: Clothes don't make the man, but they do make the man look better. Girls like guys with lots of money. The thing is, it's easy to trick them into thinking you have a lot of money. Wear a gold chain. Let it hang out over your shirt. The bigger the better. A medallion helps, especially if it's suggestive. Like a naked lady medallion. That tells her right off the bat, "I like naked ladies so much I wear them around my neck." Sunglasses make you look mysterious and also let you stare at and examine her attributes without her knowing. And just because it's dark doesn't mean you should take them off. Cory Hart wore his sunglasses at night and he dominated the women of the eighties.
Confidence: The most important part about dating is confidence. Girls like guys with a certain swagger. Always make sure you come off as the most important person in the room. Is the waiter being slow? Tell him. Very rudely. Let him (and more importantly her) know that you buy and sell people like him everyday. When your meal arrives, send it back atleast twice. First, say it's too cold. And then, send it back saying it's too hot. This will let the woman know that you know what you want and you're not satisfied unless you get it.
The End of the Night: On a first date, alot of men are worried about whether or not they should give a goodnight kiss. To be honest, most of the women I've dated have had a very strict "No kissing on the lips" policy. They do it to make them seem dignified. But, as any Confidant Man (see above) knows, saying No is really the same as giving an emphatic Yes! Want to avoid this end of the night kiss dilemna entirely? Kiss her as soon as you meet. This basically makes it a non-issue right off the bat.
Comments (3)
This was excellent. Only one view?
I'm going to recommend.
You might get like, three more views, but I make no promises....
Also, I once met a guy who wanted to take me out. He was wearing a gold chain with a medallion of a couple doing it doggy style.
Obviously, I said yes. And now we're married.
@heyjulsiscoo - for the record, i'm not on xanga for the potential zero cents income available. it's all to catalogue my priceless thoughts. and find random redheads. because redheads are priceless too. or 12000 rupees in some markets.
the view would love you.