Sunday, 02 November 2008

• Parting of the Sensory

  The gist: a friend of mine from work and one of my favorite people there died unexpectantly of a stroke.
  
  It is the girl pictured at the bottom left here:
  
  
  
  I really just want to journalize so I can document and remember some of my favorite things about her:
  
  - She was from Chile and a sort of exchange worker.  I would always practice my Spanish with her and get her to teach me words.  However, she really wanted me to speak in English with her so she could practice hers.  So it was a sort of compromise.
  - Her cubicle window was facing the hallway and she would wave me when I walked by.
  - I liked to just stand at her window and make funny faces till she looked over.
  - One of my most funny moments was when I was talking to her about getting my haircut and I referred to my hair as "lechuga", meaning lettuce.  I told her that is the main slang for hair in America. 
  - She asked me for advice on how to workout and made me feel good about staying in shape.
  - She didn't know how big I was into running.  When I showed her my half-marathon medal, she actually cared and was impressed. 
  - I got her to make my extended professional signature complete with a section in Spanish.
  - I would always ask her ridiculous things when I was bored.  Like I would say she should get a tattoo of her fiance's name.  Or just the other day I told her that she should compliment the redass guy on his "mover" costume.  Her response was usually "of course not!"
  - She said she liked my "doll", aka my Dwight bobblehead doll in my office.
  - Her boyfriend didn't want her to be facebook friends with me because she said it would make him jealous and justified that by complimenting my looks.  She said she would be anyway if I wanted but I said nah I understood.
  - One of my favorite moments was when she asked me how she should work out her shoulder area between her pec and shoulder.  I wasn't sure what muscle she was talking about at first, so she was going to draw a picture of a body to be more specific.  Since the muscle in question was in the general boob area, she goes "I'm going to start flashing."  I was thinking "Wow.  Awesome. Right here?" but then my friend chimed in that she meant "blushing" not "flashing".
  - I would always mess with her and say my cubicle neighbor was her "Jefe" meaning boss, even though she was higher ranked than him.
  - She wanted people to call her Nicky instead of Nicole because that's what her friends called her.  My other friend then told her about Nikky Sixx from Motley Crew by writing that name on her whiteboard.  I then called her Six or 6 always, and eventually one day I converted it to Seis, which became her good nickname.
  
  
  Anyway,  I was shocked into numbness when I first found out.  Some of us sat around and talked about her and stuff for a while but I was still only slightly effected. 
  
  But then I remembered how she had come to my cube earlier in the week and I showed her my half-marathon finisher medal, and remembered that she was the only person who actually legitimately gave a shit.  Then I kinda lost it a bit in the corner in my friend's kitchen.
  
  I hadn't cried in a loooong time. It kind of felt good.  It reminded me how special it was to be alive.  But it is definitely embarrassing.  I'd much rather not care and be seen as someone who doesn't care.
  
  Work will be horrible.  It's like the people who make me want to go and happy to be there either get relocated or this.  And to think I was actually worried about having to take shit about UT losing.
  
  Perspective is a powerful thing.  And just to clarify, I don't consider this a vigil or anything to honor her.  I just want to remember. 

  • 5:05 PM
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