Man, this kind of sucks. I never care about anything in the real world, but this whole economic downfall thing has kinda gotten to me.
I mean, the stock market is crashing harder than Sage Rosenfels.
Imagine my surprise and my fear when I logged onto my 401K the other day and realized that it was 90% invested in stocks. I might as well insert my hard earned dollars directly into the garbage disposal along with my arm. Or use gambling as my main savings strategy.
Apparently, I was in like the retire in 2050 plan, so it's more "aggressive". I will be retiring in 24450 if I followed their advice. I moved it so only 10% is in stocks. Tell me how my bonds taste!
Too bad when the country is destroyed all my bonds will become worthless anyway. But then we'll have to be in anarchy and that is where I will really feel at home. When currency is decided by which ever man is better at using a bat.
Atleast I don't have to worry about having a job. My funny Monster.com experiment has ended because I got multiple voicemails and lots of emails. Eventually, I made it so my only preferred locations were Australia and New Zealand, but people didn't get the hint. So now I made my resume private again.
Due to bonuses and waiting for 401k matching to nest, I'm locked in this gig for a couple years. Very sneaky. I used to think that I didn't need to have a job I liked because I'm an excellent adapter much like a duck-billed platypus, but maybe I am wrong. Or I can write it off as a case of the Mondays.
20 days til the half-marathon, and I have kicked my training up a notch. But is it enough notches? Again, only time will tell. Time tells alot of things.
I used to like to see cool comebacks in football because it gave me hope at coming back in life. But I think I liked the Texans' collapse more than anything ever. It teaches you that no matter how hard you try and how good you do, you can still get helicoptered into blowing it.
That is a valuable lesson for all you kids out there.
Here's another valuable lesson: Do not chew 4 packs of gum a day. Ever since I quit, my health has improved 2000%. Incredible really.
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