Tuesday, 23 September 2008

• Stay Positive

  There's no way I'm 23.  My mindset is maybe 13 maximum.
  
  You have no idea how easily I entertain myself.  I spent most of the day today making myself laugh by coming up with jokes about this guy that allegedly has 7 inch fingers.  Then the rest of the day I thought of jokes about this guy that's a ghost.  And this was a great day. 
  
  And I have freaking nothing on the horizon.  No engagements.  No marriages.  No mortgages.  None of those big adult milestones. It's one day, nay, one hour at a time.  And working for the weekend.
  
  Periodically I regret the way I have self-sabotaged my past relationships.  Then I think about a guy with 7 inch fingers getting kicked out of medical school because of injuring too many of his patients during their prostate exams.  Then I laugh and realize maybe it all works out the best for everyone.
  
  
  Talk to the Hand
  
  There is one pretty sweet thing on the horizon.  I am making my triumphant return to Poland soon.  I put in my request for vacation today.  I'll be there December 18 - January 3rd, give or take.  Unless you are a thief, then you should consider me home 24 hours a day guarding my things to the death.
  
  
  Krakow - My Birthplace
  
  I've already thought of some of my itinerary for Poland.
  
  1) Getting drunk.  I will probably walk to the town square and drink vodka all day.  It will be awesome. 
  
  2) Play in the snow.  It will probably be snowing.  I can throw snowballs at old people.
  
  3) Impregnate chicks.  Talk to girls. It will be cool.  I will tell them I am from America and they will be swooning. 
  
  Okay, then I will still carry over some vacation and get new hours of vacation so I will have like 140 hours next year.  My next vacation choices: Australia/New Zealand, obviously.
  
  But there is a new contender for vacation spot.  Mykonos, Greece.
  
  
  
  If it's good enough for Zeus to fight in, it's good enough for me to vacation in.
  
  Resolved: Not getting a haircut until after the half marathon.  And it's already been like 1.7 months since my last one.  My lettuce is gonna be cool.
  
  FYI: I do not know why some strands of my hair randomly turn platinum blonde in certain sections, especially at front.  I think it has to do with stress or hanging around toxic waste.

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