I was at the store the other day, walking around, lolly-gagging, being cool, etc. But then, I came across these pills in the diet/nutrition/across-from-the-cereal section.
Wow. Are you freaking kidding me? Lose up to 20 lbs over a period of time with diet and exercise plan?
Since when is stating a fact a form of advertising your product? You can lose way over 20 pounds if you get a tapeworm. Or get stabbed in the heart.
It doesn't even say lose 20 pounds by using this pill and exercising and diet. It's just telling you to exercise and diet. I wanted to burn down the store at this point.
But instead, I decided to get proactive. If that's all it takes to advertise and sell a product, then count me in.
So, here are a few new ways to advertise products. Related companies: you can make checks payable directly to me. Or leave it in a paper bag on my patio.
And this is less of an advertisement and more of a suggestion:
Interested companies: if you use this new packaging, I can gaurantee a three-fold increase in sales.*
*If triple the people buy your product.
The gym I usually go to had no water today when I arrived and blocked the bathroom so I couldn't pee and I had to pee so bad I couldn't work out, so I figured I'd drive down to the gym a few miles down the road, but when I got there, that gym was closed. So I didn't work out today. Score another point for the hurricane.
P.S. - My right pinky toenail came off last night. I am partially to blame for messing with it. I am too scared to look at it or feel it. Maybe the
weirdest feeling I've ever had.
Comments (4)
Love the new advertising by the way. They really should hire you.