Sunday, 07 September 2008
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Dichotomy
What do you think about things that suck? I think that things that suck suck.
Here are some things that suck:
Household Chores - Doing household chores sucks. Example: doing dishes. Whenever the dishwasher is done cleaning the dishes, you have to put them up. It takes literally 30 seconds to put them up. But there is atleast 4 hours of agonizing about having to put them up that happens first. Like "Ugh. I have to put up the dishes. This sucks. Ugh. I don't want to." Then you think about just using the clean dishes right out of the machine. But then you don't know where to put the dirty dishes because clean dishes are still in the machine. Dishwashing sucks.
Other Drivers - Other drivers always suck. Never once have I thought "that driver is cool." They never know how the rules of the road work or how to drive. No one ever knows how to use a dual middle turning lane thing. Here's what I mean:
Now you know.
Doing things - Doing things sucks. You have to leave the house and go somewhere. It's so lame.
What do you think about things that are cool? I think things that are cool are cool. Here are some things that are cool:
Ketchup - Ketchup is cool because it tastes so good. It is good with anything. I use alot of ketchup because it is so cool.
Ketchup is the only thing that is cool.*
* Toothpicks
Everything either sucks or is cool. But there is only one thing that is medium. It is tooth picks. I had this step uncle guy who swallowed a toothpick once because he was too quick with the free samples at Sam's Club. The toothpick ruined his internals and he had to get a colostomy bag and he eventually died. So, then I thought toothpicks were cool. This is a true story.
But I buy these wraps from Kroger sometimes and they stick toothpicks in them for some reason. They are annoying to take out. And one time I almost bit into one and then I would have died. So that makes me think toothpicks suck.
Conclusion
Everything sucks except ketchup and the jury is still out on toothpicks.
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Comments (2)
But, I miss hearing "put up" as a way to say 'put away'. That's gotta just be a texan thing, too. Never heard anyone else say it.
But... my sister flosses her teeth at fancy restaraunts, with her own hair. If she used toothpicks, I would have dinner with her more often. So toothpicks don't suck in that sense.
I guess the jury really is still out.