Thursday, 04 September 2008

• Tell Me Your Own Politik

  I actually purposely turned on the Republican Convention last night.  I had to sit through the normal boring speech blasting Obama by that guy Rudy Giuliani who guest starred on "The Nonfat Yogurt" episode of Seinfeld once.  Since when does being a Seinfeld guest star give you the right to talk at a political convention? What's next, Newman running for Speaker of the House?
  
  These speech writers are weak by the way.  Their insults are lame.  Hire me to bash Obama. 
  
  I'd be all like, "Obama says he wants to make changes, but Hitler said the same thing."  or "Hey.  Obama wants to raise taxes.  That means you get less money on your paycheck."  And then I would finish him with a, "Barack says his mom is white and his dad is black.  If he can't even decide on his race, how can he decide on an important issue? Yeah!!!" That's better than easy shots about someone changing their mind.  Shit, read my blog and I've changed my mind on lots of stuff.  And I'm the greatest most forthright person of all time.  As long as you are right in the end, who cares.
  
  And that walking cadaver McCain had the same war stories the last 2 times he tried to run for President.  Suddenly they should be considered good enough now?
  
  Anyway, I only watched that first thing for the main event.  My girl Sarah Palin. 
  
  
  <3 XOXOXO  <3
  
  I was disappointed at first because her shirt wasn't low cut.  And she wore sleeves.  But she didn't really lose any ground in trying to attract me.  I even liked her weirdo Northern accent.
  
  One issue: 5 kids.  Damaged goods much?  I don't want to be a step-father to five freaking kids.  I'm sure that one in the army would try to backtalk too.  I don't like kids who can't mow the yard by the time they're 3, much less "special needs" kids who will have to wait till they're 4. 
  
  Speech Highlights: Sarah said they were gonna "lay more pipelines."  Haha, she mentioned laying pipe. I think that was a subtle shoutout to me.  Same with the comments about "drilling."  And when she used the phrase "open for business." Read ya loud and clear, Sarah.  You know where to find me.
  
  
  Sarah holding up an exhumed corpse.
  
  I have this stupid notebook at work.  Infact, it's not stupid, it's cool.  It has "super notebook" written on the back.  It is where I write down blog topics when I come up with them at work. Problem: it's always left at work so I don't remember the great things when I'm back at home. Exactly why I need a new high-powered phone/PDA.  New phone: October 10th, baby.
  
  Hey, here's a fun game.  It's like Where's Waldo but 1000x harder.
  
  Find me in this picture:
  
  
  
  Give up?
  
  Click here for the answer.

  • 5:16 AM
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