Wednesday, 03 September 2008
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The Cold Part
My extent of political knowledge and research into the upcoming election comes exclusively from Google News headlines.
Oh, daughter of Sarah Palin, say it ain't so!
But what do you expect? There's nothing for 17 year olds to do all day in Alaska except for look at glaciers and get busy ERRR have consensual relations of a sexual nature. Resulting in getting knocked up ERRR insemination ERRR having a sweet little unexpected bundle of joy postmarked from Heaven above.
And it's like Andre 3000 said, "If mama is a quarter, daughter must be a dime."
Mmm... not so much.
Sarah's husband must bave diluted that gene pool. I'm sure she wishes she had held out for a 23 year old aspiring blogger instead of popping out 5 kids with that goon. But that's a common regret nationally.
Obama was quick to come out and say that Bristol Palin's being preggo was off limits. But I consider this tantamount to a football coach coming out in a press conference all like, "No, of course we won't come after his injured knee."
Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say no more.
Get back to me when 13 year old Willow Palin is pregnant. Or 7 year old Piper Palin. Now there's a story I can sink my teeth into.
Memo to Palin family. Mix in a baby name book. But maybe everyone in Alaska has horrible names. Bristol's impregnator is named none other than Levi Johnston. Buck Naked thinks that's a great porn name.
I think what it all boils down to is that my political commentary is pretty ground breaking and well-informed.
On a more heartfelt and personal level:
It was just an anomaly last week. Cash Cab is still set at 5pm daily. Phew.
I'm in.
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