Have you noticed how I'm constantly pissed off now?
Atleast when you're in college you can be like "Okay, I have 3 tests this week but once that's over then it's cool."
But instead now it's like, "Oh, I hate life now but atleast when that's done I'll be in a grave."
Or I'll have my ashes sitting on someone's mantle. But probably not since who would want them. Maybe I'll have a special request to get my ashes thrown on some bum. That could be my final awesome prank.
Today I had about 200 awesome ideas for pranks but I can't do a single freaking one of them. Putting me in an office full of people ready to be impressed by my humour and pranking ability and then having the threat of termination hanging over my head?
I'm going to a funeral tomorrow so that should put a jolt of life-appreciation in me for a while. But it's like what George said about funerals on Seinfeld...
"They always make me take stock of my life and how I've pretty much wasted all of it, and how I plan to continue wasting it."
And dear ESPN.Com,
The reason I don't go to your shitty site any more is because shitty videos pop up without me asking for them. If I wanted something unwanted to pop up randomly I'd show up to a party in sweatpants.
Is it just me or is this country becoming a dystopia?
Maybe a pet ferret is the answer. And the act of training it.
Because I need a book to figure out how to cruelly force a ferret into a giant red plastic ball.
Comments (2)