I need a personal assistant. I can't do everything by myself, i.e. buy furniture and other apartment essentials.
I've lived so sparsely over the years. I used one bowl, one cup, and all plastic silverware for the last 2+ years. With no complaints. That's just how I get down.
But now, in order to become a human being, I need all those human things. Like plates and furniture.
Could I have gone the rest of my life sleeping on the air mattress in the living room? Yeah, probably. But I went and plunked down a hefty sum on a Sealy Ultra Plush mattress. I picked it within 2 minutes of walking into the store. How? It had Ultra in its name. That was enough for me.
They were all like "We can bring put it down and you can try it out." Yeah, like I'm going to lay in a mattress in the middle of a store. First of all, there's no way I could actually gauge the comfort of said mattress with that, and second of all, I'd look like a giant jackass.
The rest of the weekend will be dedicated to requisitioning other things I need. Like a couch and table and entertainment center. Would I like to live in a nicely furnished apartment with cool stuff? Ideally, yeah. But it's the interim that's hard for me. I suck at choosing things. And I'm very very very easily sold. So count me out of furniture stores. I'll go in for a couch and come back with a couch, chandelier, flying trapeze, and flux capacitor.
I'm the kinda guy who likes to leave well enough alone. If it's not broken, don't fix it.
But it's hard to court ladies by having them watch TV on the floor. Or sleep on the floor. They don't appreciate the back pain.
I've been making a few less than practical purchases lately too. Like expensive sunglasses straight outta Entourage, and a high-tech scale. But, you only live once. According to some.
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