Friday, 09 May 2008

• Behind The Curtain

  Occasionally, I'll horde xanga topics.  I'll think of a few good things I want to expound on, and then I write them down to tackle another day.  Quality over quantity, ya know.
  
  Here's one topic I've wanted to write about for years but never got around to.  It's one of the most critical issues facing our world today. 
  
  Driving with your arm hanging out of your window.  I hate this so much it makes my blood coagulate and leaves me near stroke everytime I witness it.
  
  Oh boy, you sure do look relaxed with your elbow protruding outside of your car.  No.  You look like a moron.  Here are the things I assume about the driver when I witness this behavior:
  1) A moron
  2) Unemployed or Minimum Wage
  3) Addicted to drugs
  4) Lives in a trailer park
  5) World's biggest asshole.
  
  And most of the time, the people doing this drive some 1975 Chevy Caprice or something, that's all rusted out with paint peeling and 3 flat tires.  Who drives with their window down anyway? Answer: people with no air conditioning, aka people who are poor.  Or smoking a cigarette.  Even worse.
  
  But even worse than the elbow protrusion is the people with their full arms just hanging there.  I know for a fact that that can't be comfortable.  It is the most unnatural position possible.  You don't understand the urge I get to drive next to these people and sideswipe them - effectively amputating their arms.  One of these days... POW! Right in the arm.
  
  Much like Aesop, I always have a moral.  Today's: keep your f'n arm inside your vehicle.
  
  Oh, and passengers lying down with their feet out the window, I hate you too.

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