Tuesday, 06 May 2008

• Stream Of Consciousness 2008

  I'm going to try five straight minutes of stream of conciousness, just for kicks.  I've done these somewhere in past, but never very regimented.  It's more for my enjoyment than any real readability.  I've set my j button to ctrl-v so that won't slow me down.
  
  4:00PM
  Well I haven't really felt like myself lately.  Which can somewhat be expected.  Sudden, large life changes should bring that about I think, and this graduation etc.  definitely qualifies.  I'll settle in eventually post graduation and moving and be back to good ole me soon enough ideally.  I haven't changed this calendar all year.  They didn't put out a Beavis & Butt-head calendar for 2008, so why bother.  It's still December 2007 in my mind anyway.  I have the mid-20's Alzheimer's I guess.  I've got this big great plan to run 10 miles a day between Sunday and Friday.  Because I'll be done with finals and have nothing to do, except for a couple hours a day of moving preparation.  That sounds like a worthy goal to me.  I have 3 tests left in my college career.  Allegedly.  Barring failure and having to retake something.  But I think suicide would precede that.  More than likely.  I'm kinda thinking of a logical conclusion to this blog.  It would make sense to end it at the end of college, since it started pretty close to the beginning of college.  But you never know, I like writing on it.  Even though I rarely to never put any true personal thoughts.  I just hint at personal thoughts, and when I read back later, I can remember the personal thoughts I was having at the time.  That's good enough for me.  I don't need enemies to know that much about me.  Moving will be so heinous.  I'm going to throw literally dozens of dollars worth of stuff away.  Some of it's not worth carrying around.  I have moved 9 times since college started.  I have atleast lived here for something like 2 years though, so it's been a nice home environment.  Hopefully my next apartment will be able to suffice for years.  Or I'll probably get some adult feel and want to buy something.  Like a barn.  It's been 5 minutes, but I'll extend because I'm having fun.  This will be a long intimidating paragraph - way too long for anyone to read.  Long paragraphs scare me away.  They are like my kryptonite.  That's why I put spaces between alot of my thoughts generally.  Makes them more approachable.  Moving and stuff sucks, but atleast it's something.  Damn, I'm going to have no forseeable goals soon.  Sure, there will be the standard goals of moving up the corporate ladder, but nothing very hard and fast.  And I'll make up some personal goals like half-marathons and reading books and the like, but other than that it'll be sort of go with the flow.  Ford the river, or caulk your wagon and float it across.  That sort of deal.  I have so much to buy.  New computer, comic book collections, high-tech electronica, vehicula, tuxedos, boomerangs, armor, whatever.  I made a few of those up.  I could probably use a pet for company.  Even though my roomate is hardly ever here, it still counts as living as someone.  I lived by myself back in the day in the hotel for something like 9 months total.  I was constantly distracted by work and going places on weekends.  Everytime I stayed in the Donkey Punch aka Deer Park for a weekend, I would spiral into suicidum. I'll keep myself distracted good enough in the H though.  I've got people there to hang with.  And I'll have some sort of expendible income.  And I'll have to try to get going towards marriage.  Which starts with dating.  Or something like it.  My biological clock is tick tocking.  And so is the real clock.  If I could bust out this much every 10 minutes, I'd have a book in no time.  Done.

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