Tuesday, 15 April 2008

• Choo Choo

   I'm awfully fond of critiquing clothes and styles.  Mainly because there's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others.
  
  One recent fashion trend I wish would go extinct is what I deem The Conductor Hat.  It is also known as the Cuban Dictator Hat.
  Since I don't even know what it's really called, I can't even find a valid example.
  
  But the guys who wear it look sort of like this...
  
  
  
  But instead of looking like plastic, they look like losers. 
  
  After more painstaking research, I found out it's called an army hat.  And the losers look sort of more like this.
  
   
  
  I mean come on.  This is AMERICA.  Here, we wear baseball caps. 
  
  If you're not behind the wheel(?) of a speeding locomotive, there's no reason to wear one of these monstrosities. 
  
  It's not going to help you get women.
  
  You think this guy gets women?
  
  
  No he doesn't.  He's not giving any mustache rides, only stupid kiddie train rides because chicks don't like conductors.
  
  And chicks don't like Cuban Dictators either.
  
  
  
  You never see Fidel surrounded by women.  He's always got tons of smelly Cuban guys around him. 
  
  The moral is: the hat isn't cool.  You aren't cool.  The fact that you're trying to be cool, makes you less cool. 
  
  Take me for instance. I never try to be cool.  That's why I am. That's all part of it.
  

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