I've got the urge to write that I get every so often, so this could be a long one. I got it last night, but I didn't pry myself out of bed to come and expound xanga-style, and it didn't fade as a night of sleep usually makes it fade.
I ran my 5 miles this morning and it was spectacular. I have a plan to run some more again first thing tomorrow morning, but being that I have an 8 o'clock class, I'd have to wake up circa 5:45 AM.
This morning I had my bff Jamie to run with, so I knew I couldn't skip it in favor of more sleep because I'd let us both down. Me and Jamie go back to the "Fantastic Four" clique from my 2006 summer co-op days.
She's one of the few girls I've met where the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind quote "Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?" doesn't apply. Plutonic from the get-go.
With the rash of engagements I've witnessed, and the upcoming Valentine's day, I've been thinking of my recent failed relationships. It reaffirmed my fact that I am my own worst enemy, as I always seem to change mindsets during relationships.
I turn from the enjoying-the-relationship mindset, to the want-to-be-single-what-am-I-missing-out-on mindset and then when it's over I'll go to the I've-made-a-huge-mistake mindset. But I think that's changing.
I'm under an impression that I've matured recently. I realize now that I don't want the Seinfeldian late 30's and single lifeform that I used to claim I'd be fine with. I do want someone. And it's not confidential, I've got potential. So I hope that can lead to snagging some young philly relatively soon. Be it this semester or maybe better yet until I settle down in Houston. The fact of the matter is I know now I'm too old for any sewing wild oats period. And frankly, I'm not of the personality to engage in that sort of lifestyle anyway.
I'm trying hard to not look backward. Life's too short for regrets. Well, actually life's not too short. Life's the longest thing you can experience. Without unzipping my pants, that is. Boom boom chh.
But, seriously, regrets suck. Listening to the Rome podcast this morning was a weird coincidence, because I had been pondering my mistakes and misplays in life recently. And Rome said, "There aren't a lot of things that I wish that I could have back, because, you know, time and place. They are what they are. You gotta own it. You have to own it." This was a heaven sent message to me.
Anyway, the positive is that I'm almost fully recovered from my depression of a week ago.
And in lighter fare, I had a blast today writing MSDSs for this lab that I should have taken years ago. The TA is a cool motha f'er and said it's cool if we just summarize the hazards and treatments of chemicals.
So if it's an irritant, I'll write something like "Do not rub into eyes or wounds." If it's flammable, I'll put something like "Do not set ablaze or hurl into campfire." I crack myself up with my hijinx.
Comments (2)
Valentines season (aka that solid month post Christmas and pre Easter that turns every -Mart possible red) will always mess with the mind.