Saturday, 29 December 2007

• NOOOO!!!

  So I'm sitting there watching the Patriots-Giants game and a commercial comes on.
  
  It is some middle-aged hag doing an Aleve commercial.
  
  She's all talking about redecorating her kitchen and how it sucked or something.
  
  Then she says something like "It was a huge project and really backbreaking work..."
  
  And during the pause, I'm just sitting there thinking, "Don't say it. Don't say it! For the love of all things holy, don't say it!"
  
  And then it comes.  "...Literally."
  
  NOOOO!!!
  
  Was it really literally backbreaking? Huh? Was it you old bag?  Aleve must really be one helluva drug if it cured your broken back.  Alert the crippled ward at the hospital! Their problems are solved!  Aleve heals broken backs. If only Christopher Reeve was alive to see this.
  
  She literally broke her back doing work, but now she's fine to do commercials because she has Aleve.  You know what, if you want, I'll volunteer to break your back you word-misusing post-menopausal wench.
  
  The misuse of literally is the major sign of the apocalypse.  If a sportscaster uses it, fine, whatever.  It was spur of the moment and they are just one person and they are probably stupid anyway.
  
  But this was a commercial. Money was spent to produce this. There was a team of people working on this.  A director. A writer. The "actress". The lighting guy. The gaffer. The gopher.  The janitor. 
  
  And they are all to blame for this debacle.  They all had a chance to say, "Hey, you know, she didn't really break her back doing the work, so maybe we shouldn't use the word literally."  But no, they didn't.
  
  And they all deserve to die.  Literally.

  • 10:07 PM
  • 19 Views
  • 2 eProps
  • 1 Comment