Thursday, 05 July 2007

• July 5

  July 5th is a big day because it's Matthew Rice's birthday. 
  
  
  
  Today he turns 18.  18 is a good age because you can buy cigars and scratchoff tickets.  Nothing like smoking and playing Lotto.  18, what a great age.
  
  Matthew has come a long way.  You used to be able to make him laugh until he vomited.  He stopped that a couple of months ago.
  
  He's also the primary inventor of Pizza Party brand toothpaste.
  
  Now, for ages that suck, try 22.  New rights earned: zero.
  
  War the new plasma TVs at the Gregory Gym.
  
  Unwar them not having HD.  What's the point of plasma TVs if you don't have HD?
  
  That's like getting 22" spinning rims for your 1984 Ford Escort.
  
  Oh, I almost forgot to mention.  What a great hotdog eating contest yesterday.  Joey Chestnutt taking it home versus the great Kobayashi.  Incredible.

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