Thursday, 28 June 2007

• Let An Umbrella Give You A Frown

  So, the other day I was raving about the purchase of an umbrella.
  
  Today, I am walking out of school and I see it's starting to rain.  No problem - I have an umbrella.
  
  So I take it out and continue about my business.  Suddenly, an apocalyptic sized gust comes.  Of course, my umbrella turns inside out and breaks.  Hooray.
  
  Just great.  I walked a little while in the rain and sought shelter.  I was able to pseudo repair the broken piece.  I am tempted to call the part a "talon" but I know that's not the name. It's just the stick piece that keeps it in shape.  I was able to make it into a usable, pseudo rain detering piece of fabric on a stick.
  
  Thanks alot.  I know the company that makes it is not called Shithouse Brand Umbrellas, but it should be called Shithouse Brand Umbrellas.  Had it been properly named Shithouse Brand Umbrellas, I'd know that I was buying a shithouse umbrella that would break when wind hits it.
  
  As it were, I am not pleased with the seven dollars I plunked down for it.  I would have been better off taping 7 one dollar bills together and putting them on my head.
  
  Luckily I found out about the structural instability of the umbrella before it was too late.  I had been planning to use it as a potential parachute if I needed to make a quick escape from a tall building, ala Kirby's parasol in Kirby's Dreamland. 
  
  But instead of gliding through the air with the greatest of ease, I'm stuck with a Shithouse Brand barely usable umbrella.
  

  • 11:49 AM
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