Thursday, 15 March 2007

• Selfpark it in your asshole

  So I go to workout, and I come back and I have a parking ticket.  WTF.  It's spring break and there are no cars on the road.  I won't take this lying down, so I submitted the following awesome appeal:
  
  

  I am appealing this citation because I believe that it abides by the letter, but not the intent of the parking laws set forth at the University of Texas at Austin.  Designated parking spots are set in order to ensure that all essential individuals have appropriate parking accommodations in reasonable distance to the location of their occupation.  This includes faculty, staff, and other essential personnel.  The day in question took place in a period known as "Spring Break", where the majority of essential personnel need not report.  When I arrived on San Jacinto, the ratio of spots to cars was about 15:1.  I decided that in lieu of a catastrophe, there would not be an influx of personnel to the University to the degree where my car would cause a hindrance to the performance of any necessary duties.  Thus, I parked in a spot without another car within 15 yards.  When I arrived back at my car, I found the cruel citation.  I had only been gone a matter of minutes, and the ticket confirms that the time of citation was 5:26 PM.  This is a mere 20 minutes before the lot is open for all to park.  If the University requires this 25 dollars so badly, I have an idea on how even more money can be acquired.  Perhaps the University should grant the personnel in charge of administering tickets a vacation.  The money saved from paying the salary of these workers would far exceed 25 dollars.  Also, in my opinion, any person willing to give a ticket to a car with no other cars around and only a few minutes from free parking is either a soulless heartless monster, or a bitter individual in dire need of a vacation.  Thus, the vacation scenario expressed above would work to help said individual.  There are times when common sense should reign supreme over the letter of the law.  This is one of those times.  I appreciate the officer’s strict enforcement of the rules, however I believe said officer would benefit more by siding with the greater good of mankind instead of stringently enforcing the parking rules; especially when said parking rules are gross and unnecessary.  Perhaps a kinder, gentler, Parking & Transportation Service that employs some semblance of compassion and common sense would better serve and be better respected throughout the University community.

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