Monday, 09 October 2006

• What would you do if I sang out of tune?

  Sometimes I'll hear people talk about the future. 
  
  They have plans, hopes, dreams, what have you.
  
  "I'll go on to Law school, or I'm gonna work at Company X, or I'm gonna be a pharmacist, or I'll be a social worker, or I'll build a torture chamber in my basement."
  
  Personally, I don't have a single aspiration.  I've got no target, no goal, nothing. 
  
  This isn't limited to professional or career goals.  I've got nothing for personal, spiritual, or love life either. 
  
  I'm not complaining or even marking this as a point to work on; it's just the blatant truth.
  
  Anything I set my sights to is usually just a fleeting fancy or a shitty pipe dream.
  
  I go with the flow.  And that's really not a problem for me.  If there's one thing I've learned about myself - I adapt.  I change.  I make due. 
  
  I'm not saying that I've been tempered by experience, because God knows most people have been through more and worse.  It's just my nature.
  
  So does that mean I don't worry?  Far from it.  I worry incessantly and constantly.  I analyze and over-analyze, I dread, I plan, I prepare, I fear.  But, when the future becomes the moment, I survive.
  
  I hear people all the time, "I will only apply to these 5 companies blah blah."
  
  Hell, I'd mine coal, dig graves, solve crossword puzzles - whatever.  It's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't mind.
  
  "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." - Lewis Carroll

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