My creativity works in weird ways.
Sometimes I
NEED to write. I feel the urge to write something very specific like my opinion on something, some jokes and life observations, some philosophical insights, some poetry, some fiction, whatever.
Sometimes I want to
DRAW. This could be a
Rex and the City comic, some nice picture of a demon, or just random pictures of crazy looking things and people.
Other times I want to
PHOTOSHOP. This could be making a cool change to a picture of myself, putting me or my friends with other people, or just trying to create a cool looking picture or logo.
Occasionally I want to
MAKE MOVIES. This is when my thoughts and creative urges can only be expressed in the form of video. Combined with photoshop and some good music, nice things can happen.
And rarely, I want to do
NOTHING. I want to sit and not make a single damn thing.
But, it's cyclical and I'll usually get the bug back.
I hate when I'm at school and I don't like it. Sometimes I just say, "This is gonna get alot worse, before it gets better." Then I'll think about how even after graduation, the odds of a job sucking forever are actually pretty high, so it'll never get better. I try so hard to get better at all times, and the times when I think it's all for not are the lowest I have. That's when I create to escape and just make something that I feel I need to make, and something that can never be taken away. That's my solace and my bunker.
Occasionally I have thoughts or ideas that I don't think my mind can incorporate. Maybe it's a story or situation I find so damn funny that it's my role as a human to atleast make it available. And it really helps to be able to express such a thing in words, so others can maybe understand it, or at the very least, as writing practice.
I get alot out of having a journal. There's so much you can get from a journal. Here is tangible documentation that chronicles a life, made by the liver of the life himself. It can work to prove some growth as a person, or maybe to support the fact that you never really change. Regardless, I can attest that reading back over old posts is a true thrill. I'm convinced that anyone who reads my stuff from day one on will know me, and, dare I say, love me. Although I'll admit that sometimes I'm taken aback at how brash and obnoxious I might have been in the past.
For almost 3 years now, Xanga has been my venue. Alot of it is to help me. I have a problem, I tackle it on Xanga, and then forever it's documented and earmarked as a growing experience. Sometimes I just like to put stuff out there. Maybe, just maybe, someone can enjoy it or appreciate it. But the main thing Xanga is is the inevitable resting place of my creations. It's the end of the creationary cycle. In this regard, it's been invaluable.
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