Saturday, 02 September 2006

  • Shanghai Sharks and Other Forces of Nature

    I saw a guy with a pegleg once that was made out of metal. 
    I went up to him and I was like, "Hey, don't most pirates have peglegs made from wood?"
    He goes, "Yeah. But I'm not a pirate."
    "Touche'"

    You could probably find a moral in there somewhere, but I just like peg legs.

    I spent a few hours tonight chatting with my roommate.  He is the coolest guy this side of Shanghai.  In fact, he is from Shanghai and I prodded him for information about living in China.  It's like a whole different world.

    Americans think they are the be all end all, but there's so much else out there.  China has way better cell phones than us and they have a magnetic train and all this other badass stuff.  My sources say they're culture is way different.

    Basically, my roommate rules.  He is an expert at all things anime, TV, movies, videogames, technology, board games, China, electrical engineering, et al. 

    I think I went from having fun being a kid to having fun adult style right away.  I totally skipped the whole "wanting to party" thing.  I just can't see myself wanting to go to a party at this stage in my life.  Drink. Fuck around.  Bullshit with people.  Go home. 

    None of that works for me.  I like doing stuff I can look back on and be proud or at the least bit content.  Be it work out, buy something online, read for school, read for fun, what ever.  I don't like looking back and knowing I did something to negatively impact me like, drinking alot, eating a cheeseburger, sex with a stegosaurus, etc. 

    I dunno, there just such a stereotype against hermits like me.  I like sitting around by myself.  I don't think I'm wasting time.  I'm comfortable and content and all around pleased.  And that's all I want.

    Will I find a significant other easily? No.  But I don't want to get with some airheaded party going slut anyway. 

    Will I make a lot of friends? No.  But most would probably be fleeting comraditities with assholes I have nothing in common with.

    So what do I do?

    I eat tuna.  And cereal.  And dried fruit.  Every meal I've had this week has consisted of some combination thereof.   Except I had a barbecue sandwich today.  You know, because I was by a barbecue place.

    I've probably eaten 30 servings of tuna this week.  And about 3 boxes of cereal.  And plenty of soy milk and non-fat yogurt.  But that's me.

    I realized a while back that everything tastes the same to me.  I could eat a gourmet meal or something from a box.  The difference to me is negligible.  I do not get tired of food.  I can eat the same thing for every meal. 

    So, I eat the healthiest thing - tuna. 
     
    And since this is all protein, I need to supplement that with plenty of fiber - cereal.  And we all need fruit so I eat dried fruit.  And yogurt has some bacteria that help my digestion.  And I drink water.

    Lots of water.
    Probably around 250 ounces a day. 

    And I see no problem with this.  It's great for me, and no downside on taste and whatnot. 

    And I listen to classical music all day long.  And run scenarios in my head and imagine.  I imagine all the time.  And think and think and think with unbridled enthusiasm. 

    I was born in the wrong time.  I should definitely be manning some shanty on the outskirts of a forest. 

    I'm my own best friend to such a degree it's not even healthy.

    hurricane

    Am I gonna have to be flogged over the head about Hurricanes every August-December for the rest of my life?

    "Hurricane Ernesto is closing in!"

    Well no shit, media.  You've written the same exact thing about Hurricane *insert dumbass name* here for the past 30 years.

    "Katrina: A Year Later."  Why did we even bother with this shit.  Hurricanes will keep coming with more and more force now.  Eventually you'll have to chronicle the aftereffects of like 8 different hurricanes.
    "Katrina: 10 Years Later"
    "Bartholomew 'The Widow Maker': 8 years later."
    "Jabba the Hut 'The Greatest Disaster Ever': 5 years later."

    The weather patterns will not change.  Anything on the Pacific or Gulf is gonna get pawned for gold every fall for the foreseeable future.

    So quit.  Stop rebuilding.  Find some land in Montana and the Dakotas and all the other states that are pigshit now, and make everyone on the coast move there.  Sure, industry relies on the ports, but they'll be blown to smitherines soon anyway.  Find the next good industry. 

    Or atleast stop covering every mediocre hurricane like it's a big deal.

    And another brilliant idea... 

    I'm tired of this random stupid name Hurricane naming.  Why don't we kill two birds with one stone.  Example:

    Newsflash: Hurricane Genghis Kahn is going to invade the gulf coast!
    Kid: Who's Genghis Kahn, Dad?
    Dad: He was a Mongolian War Lord that invaded China.
    Kid: Cool! History is cool!

    Instant education.  Hurricanes named after historical figures. 

    I should get paid for this.

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