Thursday, 31 August 2006

• Orange you glad I said banana?

  I buy the orange chewable Centrum vitamins.  I love the things.  The problem is, they taste so good, and yet you are still only supposed to eat one a day.  What's the deal with that?
  
  I eat at least 5 a day.  I can't help it.  If you're gonna make them taste so good, make the required serving size three a day. 
  
  Centrum Executive: How do you like the Centrum Chewables in the new orange flavor?
  Consumer: They are really good, I would like to eat about 3 or 4 a day.
  Centrum Executive:  Well, you should only eat one a day.
  Consumer: What if I eat more than one a day?
  Centrum Executive: Your kids will be born with octopus tentacles and you will die.
  Consumer: I'll take my chances.
  
  That's how good these babies are.
  
   
  
  I rode my bike to and from school a total of 4 times today.  That's 1.1 miles per one way, so like 9 miles total probably since I don't take the straight google maps way.  I found a sidewalk with a random ramp built in.  So that was pretty cool. 
  
  I've complained about it again and again, but truthfulness to it is quite hilarious and it has proven true year after year.  The beginning of the school year gym infiltration by dunces and weaklings is upon us once more.  It really grinds my gears to have to stand waiting for a bench press when they are all being taken up by guys doing less than one plate on all of them.
  
  It's hilarious to overhear some of these conversations.  These newbs all come in groups, and they compete not by whom is strongest, because they all know they are super weak, but rather by who has the best plan to get strong. 
  
  Actual conversation overheard today:
  Sucker #1: What do you bench?
  Sucker #2: 145.
  *both stare at like the 60 lbs loaded onto the bar*
  Sucker #2: Me and *random middle-eastern name* are working on a new different kind of program.
  
  What program? One where you mash your calculator all day trying to figure out how strong you will be when you do this program, but then you never actually do it? Yeah, I thought so. 
  
  I hear guys all the time in these groups and they'll spit out these "factoids" they read on the back of a 1985 issue of Bulk-N-Build Magazine that was found in a truckstop bathroom.  "You shouldn't do more than 14 reps of something over 100 pounds." "You shouldn't work out you triceps and quadriceps within 35 minutes of each other." "I was working out and then my friend told me that I was doing it wrong, so it wasn't helping at all, and I was like aww mann."
  
  That's all malarkey.  I go in everyday with a very vague general plan of what and how I will lift that day, but the rest is all improvisation.  How you work out is meaningless if you don't work out.  Anyway, this influx of le poseurs should end within 2 weeks so, there ya have it.
  
  Thursday nights used to mean Seinfeld.
  
  Addendum:
  
  Haha, I live on 22nd and Leon, 3 streets down from this.
  
  I actually passed that house at least 4 times today on my bike, and I remember seeing a police officer standing outside.  I thought he was some sort of cop that got demoted to crossing guard or something though.

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