My bike is like an orgasm on 20" wheels.
This baby is so rock solid. I could fall off a cliff while kicking your dog in the face and stealing your grandpa's soul and it would still stick the landing.
I have "gyro" handle bars. This means that I can spin my handle bars all I want. This is fun when waiting for lights to change or jumping off of the Golden Gate Bridge.
It is so fun riding in Austin compared to Nederland. Austin has this strange thing, I think they call them "hills." It means land that bends at more than a 1 degree angle. Quite revolutionary and fun really.
Yes, I am in love with my bike.
(attempted drawing of a heart)
I went ahead and named my bike too. It is
The Annihilator. It is pronounced Annihilator with an emphasis on the final "tor". You say that like "tore." That makes it sound way more evil.
I rode it to school today in no time for practice. Tomorrow = the real thing.
When I was riding today, I was on Guadalupe and I had my Texans hat on and some dude who is like 35 is like "Hey, Texans!" It didn't click that he was talking to me at first but then I just nodded.
Yes, I am indeed wearing a Texans hat. I understand that there might be atleast 4 other people that like the Texans here, being that we're in Texas. Oh well, I won't bitch. If you want to show me that you support the Texans because you see that I do, then more power to ya.
Michael's Super Tip of The Day:
If you wanna change your outlook on life, start with your lightbulbs. I changed my lightbulbs in my room today and I swear the difference is amazing. My room went from a crappy dingy yellow to a bright white. I'm happier now, everything looks better, it's just awesome. So spend a few extra bucks and get some good lightbulbs that simulate daylight and you will not regret it.
And now for a new segment...
You Say Keep Austin Weird, I Say Make Austin Normal: Why Austin Sucks
Volume 1
One reason Austin sucks is all the homeless people. I hate homeless people more than anyone. There's no excuse to be homeless, I don't care what you yuppies say.
In Houston, they run radio ads with the Mayor Bill White and he's like "Do not give money to the homeless. Give it to this program that tries to help the homeless instead. Many homeless people have mental problems or drug and alcohol addictions. Help them by helping this program. Make change but don't give them your change."
Right on, Houston. I will convert what Bill says into a less PC statement.
Do not give the homeless money because they will spend it on drugs and alcohol. They are homeless because they have no fucking idea how to handle money, so if you give them more money, you're only hurting them. Give to a program if you insist on trying to help.
I hate homeless people. Such eyesores. I want a bumper sticker that says
"Homeless People Should Commit Suicide", or
"Save the Environment: Kill Homeless People."These homeless people hang out by overpasses already. So close! Now instead of selling wilted flowers or holding up a cardboard sign by the guardrail, hurl yourself over the guardrail! Is that so hard?
3 out of 4 dentists agree...
Death can solve most of the world's problems.
Comments (4)
If I give them food, then they have more energy to beg and make stoplights that much more awkward.
I give them cigarettes in the hope that it will kill them faster.